STOP SPOOFING MOVIE TRAILERS AS IF DIRECTED BY WES ANDERSON. Please. Please?

You just can't beat this screaming females song! It's too damn good. youtu.be/ZIL6QUYoUes

ARE WE ALL DYING??

Got sick of my car, so I sold it on a whim for probably too little. Posted on craigslist and gone within an hour. Oops? Or Good job?

I have a problem. Please send help (or more legos). instagram.com/p/zalYMxL4B0/

You ever walk past a mirror in a public place and think "look at this asshole" only to get closer to the mirror and realize it's you.

In April I'm seeing Faith No More, The Replacements and The Dead Milkmen. Great month!

Life goal: To direct The Puppy Bowl.

Is it really surprising that the company with a CEO that kills elephants has a commercial that promotes puppy mills? #pricks

Pro tip for my Massachusetts friends: MOVE! GTFO! NEVER LOOK BACK! #winter

Fuckin A! RT @colleengreen420: Fuck U Frozen

Acromegaly youtu.be/T2TVN5QgHg8

Not that I would ever have a wedding, but if Maroon 5 "crashed" it, I'd be piiiiissed off.

Ban on foie gras overturned in California. Assholes rejoice. FUCK. THAT. SHIT